Narcissism In A Relationship: 10 Signs That Might Indicate It

If your partner is a narcissist, over time they will make you feel inferior. At first he can be a gallant charmer, but when the game is over, he may make you feel guilty and inferior and not appreciate you properly. 

Perhaps there are various aspects of your relationship that are uncomfortable and make you feel uncomfortable. But you don’t yet know the exact cause. It could be that  narcissism prevails in your relationship and your partner prefers to talk about himself and his or her own problems.

It could also be  that your partner is projecting an ideal of himself that is not true. Could it be that you are in a relationship with a narcissist? In today’s post you can learn more about the characteristics of purely self-centered people and the signs in a relationship that indicate them.

We also have a few tips for you to help you deal with this situation. Read on!

Narcissism in a relationship

Psychologist Stephen Johnson defines a narcissist as a person who “has buried the real self in the aftermath of early wounds and replaced it with a false, sophisticated, balancing self”.

So the traditional image of a narcissist falling in love is not true. On the contrary: the narcissist is by no means in love with himself,  but with an idealized image that he has created himself and projects onto himself. 

In truth, they are  deeply hurt people with a very weak self-esteem  who hide behind an idealized self so as not to have to look reality in the eye. This is why it is extremely difficult to deal with a narcissist. His need to be better than others and to achieve his ideal can lead to the fact that he disparages and disparages other people in his environment.

Then we go into more detail on certain behaviors that are typical of narcissism and are often displayed by those affected. You will also learn what to do if your partner or other people around you are narcissistic.

1. Narcissism: a conversation is not a conversation

Talking to a narcissist can be very stressful and uncomfortable. It  is a frustrating experience  because highly self-centered people do not have conversations, but weary monologues. You do not value an interesting exchange with the interlocutor, so a dialogue is not possible.

Even if you  try to get the word out, and every now and then with objections such as “in truth…”, “but…”, “actually…” try to express your opinion,  you have no chance. Because the narcissist does not let you participate in his self-presentation. He knows best about everything himself and does not allow himself to be taught by anyone. If you do manage to leave a comment, he will ignore it or correct it.

Because of this, having a conversation with a narcissist is absolutely frustrating!

2. Narcissism: Conversations are always about “me, me and me too”

The topic of conversation always revolves around the narcissistic person. Even if several people are involved in the conversation, the self-centered person will keep trying to bring the conversation to themselves. Because of this  , narcissists keep interrupting others in conversation and disregarding each other’s speaking time.

In addition, they do not even listen to their interlocutors and  ignore them because they are only concentrating on themselves. Because of this, it is very normal to feel underestimated and humiliated when your partner is a narcissist.

3. Narcissists love breaking rules

A narcissist needs to feel different and better than his fellow human beings. So it is quite normal for  him to break different rules. For example, he often does not respect the traffic rules, takes office supplies home with him or shows himself off in other ways.

These actions make him feel more important and above the rules, laws and society. It makes him feel unpunished and especially important. 

4. Narcissism in the relationship: the self-centered person knows no boundaries

Whether man or woman, the narcissist is above the other and therefore his partner is in a subordinate role. Self-centered people don’t respect the needs of others because everything has to be about themselves. 

Your partner asked you for money and never gave it back to you? Does he show himself arrogant about your feelings or successes and looks down on you with contempt? Then it could be a narcissist!

5. Narcissists project a false self-image onto others

This is a fundamental outward trait of the narcissist. He stands in front of the mirror for a long time because his appearance is very important to him in order to impress others. In addition, narcissists usually show their pride in themselves in front of others:  “Look how well it suits me!”, “I am quite extraordinary.”

You need to spread the idea yourself  that you deserve the admiration of others. But the truth is that they are very insecure people with poor self-esteem.

6. Narcissism: Your partner always wants to be at the center of your world

It’s not just your needs that are unimportant. The narcissist expects you to always prioritize his or her desires. In a relationship, the self-centered person sees himself as the most important element and therefore demands constant attention without considering your needs or his own duties.

7. Narcissists are adorable at first and show a lot of charm

Initially, when your partner was trying to charm and conquer you, he was charming and adorable. You could spot a charismatic person in front of you who was convincing, fascinating, and loved details. But in the course of time this character has changed a lot: The interest in you is no longer there, you are subordinate and are still only in second place.

The narcissist always has to be the best of all. That’s why he has to present  the perfect charmer and conqueror at the beginning of a relationship. But as soon as this game gets boring, the situation changes radically.

8. Narcissism in Relationship: Is Your Partner an Extraordinary Hero?

Since the narcissist feels better than everyone else, he creates an idealized self-image in which he firmly believes. He introduces himself as a superhero (or superheroine), as a very extraordinary person who stands above all others. Because of this  , he is convinced that without him you are simply worthless. 

9. Narcissism: Self-centered people can also be victims!

A great way to constantly get others’ attention is to present yourself as a victim. In this way, the narcissist makes you forget your own needs and just focus on them. That has been his goal from the start.

But that can also happen in other moments. Because the narcissist believes that any innuendo or comment is related to him. That’s why he makes you feel guilty if you don’t treat him the way he’d like you to.

10. Narcissism and manipulation in the relationship

Others are only there for narcissists to meet their own needs. For example, you can enter into a relationship with someone who is beautiful on the outside just to prove their status to others.

Narcissism In A Relationship: What To Do?

If you want to change certain things, you have to assert yourself. The following tips can help you:

• Let your partner know  what is bothering you in the relationship. For example, you have to tell him that you cannot have an exchanging conversation with him because he only sees himself in the center; that his needs are always prioritized etc. Talk to him and explain to him that you also have needs and desires yourself.
• Be positive Even when explaining to your narcissist that you exist too, you should do so in a way that doesn’t bother or hurt them too much. If you express yourself in anger, you can confirm his superiority and agree with him. 
• Do not let yourself be diverted from your path. Even if the self-centered person tries everything to prove to you that their goals are most important, remember that you have goals of your own too. Don’t let the narcissist guide you because you have your own personality, needs, goals and dreams.

• Admit that your partner needs (professional) help. If this relationship is important to you, you need to understand that a narcissist is basically a very insecure person with little or no self-esteem. You can help your partner change this, or you can get professional help.

Do you recognize some of the behavior described in your partner? Then you should act in good time. When you feel bad and don’t see a way out, breaking up can be an important step. If you care about your relationship with the narcissistic person, don’t forget  that you are equally important and changes are necessary!