Effective Strategies To Defend Against Criticism

Besides the fact that if you accept criticism in a self-confident manner and if you do not react defensively, you will not feel offended, you will also achieve a better psychological balance.

“You didn’t work very well today”, “I wouldn’t have made this decision if I were you” ,… You are exposed to a lot of criticism all day long. So today you are learning strategies to defend yourself against criticism.

Assertiveness is a very underdeveloped skill that enables us to defend our rights and communicate these to others in a respectful way.

Examples of assertiveness include saying “no” or allowing yourself to express an opinion without apologizing, let alone waiting for some kind of approval.

Do not take the defensive to defend against criticism, but ask

The moment someone criticizes us, our first reaction is to take the defensive. We see criticism as an attack, it hurts and offends us. That is why we are on alert to defend ourselves against criticism.

But the moment we put ourselves on the defensive, we attack. We throw accusations at each other and try to get back at the other with the same coin.

If you want to learn to defend yourself decisively against criticism, the defensive is not the best way to go. Plus, the counterattack will only bring you up to the other person’s level and probably that’s not what you want.

That is why, when you notice that you are being guided by emotions that put you in attack mode, you should first pause, take a deep breath and ask.

The person criticizing you doesn’t expect you to ask. Her goal is for you to accept what she says that you might even feel bad.

For example, if someone says, “How are you dressed today?” you shouldn’t try to justify yourself by bowing your head and looking insecure and embarrassed, or with “You just have to say it!” start a counterattack. Instead, ask calmly, “What’s wrong with the way I dress?”.

It is very likely that the other person does not know what to say or that if they do, their answer is absurd.

The most important thing is that you don’t allow yourself to be annoyed by the criticism and, above all , that you don’t feel bad about it.

Accept criticism with confidence

In the event that someone rightly criticizes the way we act, not to make us feel bad or because the person has certain beliefs, it is also not a good idea to defend yourself.

If a friend tells us how long it took until we were finally finished in the bathroom and showed up at the meeting point, it is not good to counter: “Do you remember the one time when I had to wait for you too?” .

This way of countering criticism with criticism does not strengthen relationships, but gradually undermines them until the burden is so great that the relationship eventually breaks.

It would be ideal if you answered confidently by saying, “It’s true, I was way too late”.

If someone says to you: “You can’t talk to you, you have no idea about politics” , you can say: “It’s true, I don’t know anything about politics”.

You accept that you don’t know something, that you made a mistake, but at no point should you let yourself be beaten up, let alone feel like you need to change.

For example, if you don’t know anything about politics because you don’t care about the subject at all, you don’t need to wear yourself out just because you were criticized and you felt attacked.

Accept your weaknesses as a part of yourself and express your acceptance without embarrassment.

Defending yourself confidently against criticism by respecting others’ opinions

There is a very important principle: you can confidently defend yourself against criticism if you respect the opinion of others. But above all, you have to respect yourself.

If someone tells you that you are wearing terrible pants, you don’t need to be offended or disagree. Respect them, accept them and say, “Oh yeah? Well, I love her. “

We can’t all have the same tastes and you don’t have to change yours.

You can respect that the other person was sincere and shared their point of view with you, but remember that your own tastes and opinions should prevail for you.

Even if other people don’t like your pants, the most important thing is that you like them. In this way, you also learn to be more flexible with the opinions and preferences of others.

Do you have a confident defense against criticism? How do you usually react when someone criticizes you?